defeated

i'm feeling rather low these days.

i have tried desparately to increase my milk supply, with very little success. despite all of my efforts - which have included getting up in the middle of the night to pump - i am still only pumping 9 oz. of breastmilk during the work day, which is about 5 oz. less than boopers typically drinks during the day at daycare.

i have come to the conclusion that all of the stress that i have been under (moving twice in the span of five months, working full time, having trouble making my hours, pete's travel schedule, and on and on...) has taken its toll on me and my milk supply. so i have decided (blinking back the tears) that it is time to start supplementing with formula.

i know i know...LOTS of women supplement with formula and their babies are healthy and happy. i know it's not the end of the world. but i can't help but feel a bit defeated. i was really hoping to make it a whole year exclusively breastfeeding. i guess making it to 8 months isn't so bad.

i am still going to pump at work...i just plan to cut one pumping session out, so i'll pump twice a day instead of three. (or four. or the occasional five.) and of course, aubrey will still nurse in the morning and at the end of the day.

sigh. giving her that first bottle is going to be tough but i am hopeful that we will all survive and be just fine in the end.